It’s September 1 and I’ve been itching to start a blog… and then I realized I already have one! HA! I just re-read the first entry I wrote over 6 months ago. Oh how things have changed! First off let me say that Hunter is MUCH easier… I had *almost* forgotten about that rough patch… and how tired I was. Man, was I tired. My sole focus when I woke up was to figure out when I could go back to sleep… “maybe if Asher takes Hunter to the car wash I can nap, and then nap again when Hunter naps, and maybe when his granmommy comes to get him I can sneak another nap…” I can even kind of remember the nausea and the love/hate relationship with food that haunted me the entire pregnancy. It was SO ROUGH and COMPLETELY worth it. Introducing Charlie Hill Feinberg! Named for his father’s maternal grandfather, Charles Buren Edwards, and my maternal granddad, Gene Hill. Below is the birth announcement. Kudos to my friend/photographer Brittni Schroeder for her patience in getting this shot!
I’m a little unhappy with my first blog entry. It feels pretty selfish. I think I was in a pregnancy and “terrible twos” rut. To mention wine bars and wine clubs etc etc, when so many moms have REAL struggles, well, it just seems crappy. I wanted to be clever and interesting when really this blog should be an honest and true portrayal of what life is like so my little guys can read it when they are older. But I’m not going delete it because I’m glad I started with something. Also, parenting is HARD, and the difficulty was amplified by 10 when I was pregnant. Ok, so I’ve been inspired to write a blog because of a couple of other blogs. Of course the blogger of my mommy generation is Glennon Melton. You can find her here at www.momastery.com/blog If you haven’t read her yet you are in for a real treat. She is so authentic and is a bright little light in this world. She makes me thank god every day that I don’t struggle with addiction. I’ve never met Glennon but she has enough love for all her monkees and I can feel her love reaching out through her pages to me. Her writing style has also convinced me my blog entries don’t have to be perfect. She writes the way she thinks and has thrown grammar out the window. A few cuss words here and there. I like it. She has excellent parenting advice like her viral-entry-turned-book-deal called Don’t Carpe Diem. Keep an open mind and check out my other favorite entry of hers here. Next up is Anna on Inch of Gray. She’s a beautiful writer with a beautiful soul. She lost her son about a year ago and it’s a lovely, haunting, brutal blog to read but following her through her grief has made me want to be a better person and a better mom. This guy makes me laugh… except the entries about his niece. More on that some other time but I will take this opportunity to tell you and me to SLOW DOWN in the car, especially in parking lots. There are kids and strollers and mamas and doggies EVERYWHERE! And last, I met Brooke in London in 2002 and I’ve started following her after finding her again on Facebook. I just love the ways she writes, it feels so effortless, and she makes me nostalgic for the early years of our marriage. She also writes often about travel and food in cities like NY and SF, so what’s not to love? The enjoyment I get from these folks has convinced me I need to do this. When I told my english-teacher-aunt Missy that I was going to start a blog, she encouraged me to continue with the boys’ written journal instead. She said she worried I would write for other people and not for the boys. So I’m going to try my best to write for the boys AND keep the journal for them. I’m really sappy in the journal. All l I do is tell them how much I love them, my heart couldn’t be any bigger or fuller right now, and they are the loves of my life! Oh, and a couple of times I’ve given them advice like not to ever wear a tank top as an adult male.
A month or so ago I wrote something on Facebook that I want to copy here. I had had a couple glasses of wine and was holding precious Charlie. Here is what I thought and wrote:
Tonight, at a friend’s house, I stood outside at the edge of their quiet patio holding Charlie … It was dark and the far away lights were blinking in Mexico and the mountains were hovering around us and the laughter of our friends was the distant background music and god felt close. I said a prayer that Charlie and Hunter would live long and happy lives and we’d get to see it.
My sister-in-law, who from here on out will be known as “sis” because she IS my sister and we were meant for each other, read this on FB and asked me if I had become religious. I’m not religious but these two little miracles definitely make me feel closer to god, wherever he or she is. More on god another time. I have a lot I want to write about, clearly.
So here is my blog. Or my re-entry into blogging.
Thanks for reading 🙂
Just one more of Charlie before I go. I constantly say “muy feliz” (very happy) to describe this Little Love!